through tear soaked graves they transform
our lives altered from the wisdom that remains
smiles and laughter subside, the grim of life settles in
the morning yearning for its chaos to subside
we reflect, and chastise the life spent or squandered
concede to the fact that these ideas are reality
steadfast and strong, our demeanor seems untouched
like people in plays, we embrace our scene
what will you do?
will history's consistency play out its way with you?
your script having not yet been written, is the end in sight?
forbearance aside, what will your life reveal?
will the tears on your grave be salty or sweet?
the world once touched, the mark dark or light?
did you laugh?, did you smile?
will my morning's yearning find it's still from inside?
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Never forget!
What great shame I have brought to your name God
Manifestation of a heart true to the flesh that its bound in
Corrupted and broken, bleeding out... barely beating
I groan as the life I try to control cries for intervention
I have not a thing to offer, not a penny for barter
What worth could you find in this wretched selfish martyr
I have died for nothing, despite all my positions
My dreams of your favor, spread out like a puzzle
Here, unnerved and left teetering
Just a breeze I beleive, would set in motion my fleeting
My hands are set, yet my grip is descending
I have been here before, now what came of the ending?
Redeemed by my Lord, Father, when my strength was found wanting
A life in Your hands, less control than I wanted
"Sanctuary!" my flesh pleads, in need of great mending.
I procure refuge in you Lord, for I have remebered the ending!
jhd 9-2-09
Manifestation of a heart true to the flesh that its bound in
Corrupted and broken, bleeding out... barely beating
I groan as the life I try to control cries for intervention
I have not a thing to offer, not a penny for barter
What worth could you find in this wretched selfish martyr
I have died for nothing, despite all my positions
My dreams of your favor, spread out like a puzzle
Here, unnerved and left teetering
Just a breeze I beleive, would set in motion my fleeting
My hands are set, yet my grip is descending
I have been here before, now what came of the ending?
Redeemed by my Lord, Father, when my strength was found wanting
A life in Your hands, less control than I wanted
"Sanctuary!" my flesh pleads, in need of great mending.
I procure refuge in you Lord, for I have remebered the ending!
jhd 9-2-09
Thursday, August 20, 2009
probably nonsense.. just sat down and started typing
What is it that I am trying to do by reading more? Am I trying to compensate for something I think I am lacking by trying to acquire more knowledge? Sometimes I don’t get myself! Shouldn’t you always “get” yourself? I sure would like to find my determination and focus to take this to the next step… To be a life student and truly finish this half thing I have started. I have so many interests that I have lost focus. I make plans to plan instead of planning. I am sometimes too random for my own good. I think I define who I am sometimes by the level of spontaneity and “differentness” that I can achieve. That’s crap! I mean, being different and unique is a good and healthy thing. However, in being unique I place myself in a stereotype of people who are trying to be just that… unique, therefore making myself in a way… Normal. I feel so lazy sometimes yet I am always doing something like work, school, and helping others with computer issues, church, making music, etc…
I understand why some people read though. It’s the same base reason I get on the computer, or used to get so involved into games. To disconnect! To unplug from reality that is our lives. I don’t play games online like I used too. Don’t get me wrong, I still love them and can get caught up in them, but I have set limits on time and such now. Growing up I never had games, no Nintendo, Sega, Playstation… none of that! Just the computer. I kept spending way too much time with them that everything in my life was neglected. I took on a character and fake persona that was all me, but not reality. No wonder that is so appealing to people. You can waste you life away doing that in whatever form it takes for you, books, games, relationships, etc… Trying to be someone you’re not.
*(that last thought (relationships/being someone you’re not) sparked the thing below)
Seemingly perfect was the sound of it
to chase after the unapproachable
Remain calm, play it cool, show yourself
Make character sacrifices for the appearance of compromise.
The author of my thoughts acting like it spoke another language.
Speech, mannerisms, likes, etc…
She was different and so you became…
You transformed to a mere shadow of yourself, concealed and a lie.
Pure attentiveness and actions would not do you justice
“Chemistry needed” read the invisible sign around your neck.
How do you have growth and blossoms with no sun or water?
How can we ignite when the fuel to our flame is under lock and key of your mind?
I am drowning; the wick of my soul is drenched.
Alas, the wind of change comes to dry it up.
How long I have wanted to burn.
Again and again the wind blows
I need shelter, how else will I cultivate the flame once it burns
Will I let the blaze from it melt away my guise?
How can I control something I have never been able to before?
Can intellect? Can logic? Will it overtake me?
I feel at times, not even the flame could take down what I have started.
How can one of life’s greatest disasters burn everything in its path and miss me?
In contrast, I feel exactly opposite of the house not hit by the raging tornado.
Everyone and everything consumed, but I am left standing.
Its destruction would be welcomed, if only to be able to feel its power!
I have no hope for that, only to masquerade as the tornado for someone else.
(this kinda lost focus to me, I may revisit it later. It just came to me as I was typing and I posted it)
Thursday, July 23, 2009
The Plight of Man
Nervousness produces quicksand in my mind
What right do I possess to inquire of you?
I fight to relinquish this tensions grip
How mysterious and complex is the entangled mind...
I feel alive, yet comatose at the thought of you,
Your draw on me is like the weight of gravity
My thoughts get saturated with exquisite dreams of hope
I chase after, to try and decipher the cascade of possibilities
I long for the seemingly eternal conversations
A melding of minds, like the most elegant of dances
So complementary, its form would be without shadow.
How is it that I hunger for you so quickly?
What about you excavates my dormant thoughts and hidden boundaries
Afraid, knowing that knowledge of you would keep me a student
And yet, I approach... with nothing more than a smile to go on.
jdimsdle (7-23-09)
What right do I possess to inquire of you?
I fight to relinquish this tensions grip
How mysterious and complex is the entangled mind...
I feel alive, yet comatose at the thought of you,
Your draw on me is like the weight of gravity
My thoughts get saturated with exquisite dreams of hope
I chase after, to try and decipher the cascade of possibilities
I long for the seemingly eternal conversations
A melding of minds, like the most elegant of dances
So complementary, its form would be without shadow.
How is it that I hunger for you so quickly?
What about you excavates my dormant thoughts and hidden boundaries
Afraid, knowing that knowledge of you would keep me a student
And yet, I approach... with nothing more than a smile to go on.
jdimsdle (7-23-09)
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I actually sent this as a message to a wonderful teacher I know and thought I could chop it up and spit it back to you guys who might read this and get your thoughts...
I was reading this today and for some reason teaching/teachers came to mind. It was weird, but this verse took on a whole new form for me in several different areas. Read the verses below and I will explain myself.
1 Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves.
2 Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification.
3 For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written,
"THE REPROACHES OF THOSE WHO REPROACHED YOU FELL ON ME."
4 For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.
You see, this might sound simple to you, but for me It behooved me to look at this as best I could through a teachers eyes.
We who are strong, bearing the weakness of others... that's in relation to the knowledge and strength of teachers vs the mental clay of students. Added with the fact that you do it not for you, but for hopefully for them, and for our future society. And please his neighbor for his good.. same thing. To build them up
and then in 3, "the reproaches of others fell on him". I viewed this in relations to "TAKS test" and scores, etc. All the stress and pressure that is put on the teachers to have their class, their schools do well. That inevitably falls on you guys and without knowingly points and accusal of not being a good enough teacher, even though its not the case at all! (most of the time) The reproach coming from the district, principals, parents, etc... ends up with the weight of it all on the shoulders of those who have a big enough burden to carry. It falls on you.
and 4. It all boils down to this... "Whatever was written in earlier times was for our instruction." The time spent planning, the curriculum, workbooks, textbooks, etc... "so that through perseverance and encouragement of and through those things that the students might have hope". Hope in a better life, Hope for a stronger self confidence when they do well, Hope for someone caring about them if them might not be getting the it at home. The list could go on and on of the hope that can be provided by someone who is given a chance to succeed.
You teachers have such a huge task, and a huge burden to bear. At the end of all of it you provide Hope! That is what I think bible was revealing to me today. Something that we were given so long ago and didn't deserve it. We were given a chance at a better life, a chance to succeed when everything in this would would try to keep us from that. I have no doubt that you are giving your students, past and present all the hope that you can, even when sometimes they seemingly don't deserve it.
Just thought I could encourage you teachers/educators out there a little bit.
Hopefully this wasn't too elementary a read for you.
Heath
I was reading this today and for some reason teaching/teachers came to mind. It was weird, but this verse took on a whole new form for me in several different areas. Read the verses below and I will explain myself.
1 Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves.
2 Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification.
3 For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written,
"THE REPROACHES OF THOSE WHO REPROACHED YOU FELL ON ME."
4 For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.
You see, this might sound simple to you, but for me It behooved me to look at this as best I could through a teachers eyes.
We who are strong, bearing the weakness of others... that's in relation to the knowledge and strength of teachers vs the mental clay of students. Added with the fact that you do it not for you, but for hopefully for them, and for our future society. And please his neighbor for his good.. same thing. To build them up
and then in 3, "the reproaches of others fell on him". I viewed this in relations to "TAKS test" and scores, etc. All the stress and pressure that is put on the teachers to have their class, their schools do well. That inevitably falls on you guys and without knowingly points and accusal of not being a good enough teacher, even though its not the case at all! (most of the time) The reproach coming from the district, principals, parents, etc... ends up with the weight of it all on the shoulders of those who have a big enough burden to carry. It falls on you.
and 4. It all boils down to this... "Whatever was written in earlier times was for our instruction." The time spent planning, the curriculum, workbooks, textbooks, etc... "so that through perseverance and encouragement of and through those things that the students might have hope". Hope in a better life, Hope for a stronger self confidence when they do well, Hope for someone caring about them if them might not be getting the it at home. The list could go on and on of the hope that can be provided by someone who is given a chance to succeed.
You teachers have such a huge task, and a huge burden to bear. At the end of all of it you provide Hope! That is what I think bible was revealing to me today. Something that we were given so long ago and didn't deserve it. We were given a chance at a better life, a chance to succeed when everything in this would would try to keep us from that. I have no doubt that you are giving your students, past and present all the hope that you can, even when sometimes they seemingly don't deserve it.
Just thought I could encourage you teachers/educators out there a little bit.
Hopefully this wasn't too elementary a read for you.
Heath
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Freedom from Anger.... Praise God!
With the anger dripping from this pen I defend my souls honor.
The peace it breeds, multiplying my days
I am caught off guard by the mistrust.
The accusal, sheer death to progression
There is no other able to reach me as deep
No other capable of excavating my old self
My teeth grind together, jaws clinched
Hair that was once relaxed is now upright
Breathing slow and syncopated, controlled
The onset of calmness
The quietness of complete rage... mine
Why can I not harness that focus
The old me feels unhinged, almost free
Long has my past angst laid dormant
My position on confrontation so askew
Is this really happening?
My defenses were strong, fortified...
Have I broken that which I called fixed?
This pen is almost at its end, anger almost depleted
Though bent from frustration, it is usable
My soul is relaxing, it speaks victory to me
I always have to reach so deep
I know one day unscathed I will emerge
but not today...
Today I deal with the remnants of silenced rage.
The peace it breeds, multiplying my days
I am caught off guard by the mistrust.
The accusal, sheer death to progression
There is no other able to reach me as deep
No other capable of excavating my old self
My teeth grind together, jaws clinched
Hair that was once relaxed is now upright
Breathing slow and syncopated, controlled
The onset of calmness
The quietness of complete rage... mine
Why can I not harness that focus
The old me feels unhinged, almost free
Long has my past angst laid dormant
My position on confrontation so askew
Is this really happening?
My defenses were strong, fortified...
Have I broken that which I called fixed?
This pen is almost at its end, anger almost depleted
Though bent from frustration, it is usable
My soul is relaxing, it speaks victory to me
I always have to reach so deep
I know one day unscathed I will emerge
but not today...
Today I deal with the remnants of silenced rage.
Compassion
Its easy to mistake heartfelt smiles for just being polite
Hard to make ready the words to not seem contrived
We assume the worst and we get what we assume
My heart is beating and has not gone cold you fools!
Formalities of kindness giving birth to apathy.
Remnants of our past bind us in fear
They halt our progress, leave us frail and week in spirit
Foolish people wish for things they are mortally afraid of
So true is it to want the things that seem so unattainable
Break down the walls, crash through the threshold of your humanity!
Hard to make ready the words to not seem contrived
We assume the worst and we get what we assume
My heart is beating and has not gone cold you fools!
Formalities of kindness giving birth to apathy.
Remnants of our past bind us in fear
They halt our progress, leave us frail and week in spirit
Foolish people wish for things they are mortally afraid of
So true is it to want the things that seem so unattainable
Break down the walls, crash through the threshold of your humanity!
no idea where I was going with this one.. lol
Bring to the table what makes full the mind.
The progression of doubt spread over our eyes.
Full is our glass of greed and advancement
Pass the salt, the one for our wounds
Romantic gluttony shaded in darkness
However accented by light
In darkest night even the smallest light makes it more appealing.
Save me
Save me from what I cant see
What I assume is my reality
Ant I cant see past what I assume.
The progression of doubt spread over our eyes.
Full is our glass of greed and advancement
Pass the salt, the one for our wounds
Romantic gluttony shaded in darkness
However accented by light
In darkest night even the smallest light makes it more appealing.
Save me
Save me from what I cant see
What I assume is my reality
Ant I cant see past what I assume.
dissimilar minds
Its amazing what contrast in thought can take place when two dissimilar minds collide.
To this, giving birth to collectively interesting and complex issues.
I say dissimilar not referring to the pinnacle in which we are reflecting on..
God as a mysterious maker and Lord over all life and inherited will.
These ideas so detailed yet vague.
We get lost in differences that are not so different once worked through.
Opinions not offending, but yet mediating the progress of growth and understanding.
These are the reinforcements to the foundation of our faith.
The once frail conversations in depth given into the robust lectures of a relational Deity.
To this, giving birth to collectively interesting and complex issues.
I say dissimilar not referring to the pinnacle in which we are reflecting on..
God as a mysterious maker and Lord over all life and inherited will.
These ideas so detailed yet vague.
We get lost in differences that are not so different once worked through.
Opinions not offending, but yet mediating the progress of growth and understanding.
These are the reinforcements to the foundation of our faith.
The once frail conversations in depth given into the robust lectures of a relational Deity.
My mind is clouded right now
Too many thoughts for my own good
I need to be able to release them
To make sense of what all is good
My judgment is seedy
My temptations too raw
My weakness is physical
My desires are like the law that binds me.
I need your forgiveness
I am so sorry I am week
I cannot think about anything
I know what it is you seek
I am blinded by your presence
Such discomfort, so much fear
My dependency kills me
Lord please rescue me!
I am afraid of what will be
Scared of weaknesses
Until I realize I cannot do this,
And I am survived by the solidarity of your will.Numbness wanes in the light of comfort
Where compassion once collided with reason
We make soft gentle steps towards closure
Only to break the stick underfoot of our resolve
Emotions linger with past thoughts and close times
Bringing forth the reality that they are now, just times.
Speak easy your words. Choose wisely your tone!
Inflection of voice staggers and corrupts
Hold tight lips that are otherwise easy to kiss
Let go of the ties that physically bind us
So easy to move, so easy to change, too easy
Run away from the comfort, its better to be numb
Comfort is changing when I see you
It is dissipated at the sound of your voice
Comfort is gone when you're around
Numb is better than your drama
It is better than facing the emotion
Numb is the only way I can keep her at bay
Newfound happiness overrides the numbness so strong
My next steps lit with reason and resolve
I attempt to walk surefooted and bold.
Not to stress on what snaps underfoot as I tread on
The thought of you lingers until I think of her
Comfortably numb never felt so good.
by Heath Dimsdle
short blurb
In darkest night I find my faith
Darkened doors haunting my mind
They groan and call out for my attention
Don't turn, don't look, they will surely pull you in
I know my protector, my provisioner
I know the gauntlet that was laid
Conqueror, Victor, my Champion King
The Creator of light, conquers the night. What do we expect with time? Do we listen to that voice of reason? How do you hold on to your ideas? Ideas that might as well blind you! I would go blind in a second… Like grasping at the rope as you tumble I fell for you, so unbelievably hard! I crashed down so hard that my soul remains bruised Even if the odds are against it Even if you fear and tremble at the possibilities Regret will take everything, and give you nothing LIVE it! Don't regret! Its as if I beg to be torn in every direction Torn from the acceptance that I so long for I am not afraid. I want you. Need you! I am broken over you Seemingly perfect is your love, no matter the reason. No judgment, No matter the wreckage, no matter the hurt Here resides a total acceptance, total and encompassing love. Freely here with no expectance of time… don't regret! By Heath Dimsdle
There is no other thing that twist me this way
So precious and fragile is your heart to me
Bridled by the unknown, by the fear.
I fear I tread to lightly on fertile ground
Mistakenly assuming the resistance to be had
My resolve weekend the more entangled it gets.
Too much? Too little? I think too late.
I long for birth, the new
Growth in every direction, pain and peace welcomed.
What will be sewn as we continue? Will it take root for harvest?
How my life would mean nothing without the fruit of it all.
Provide for me the nourishment to my barren ground.
Long have I wanted to cultivate this open territory.
To bear such wonderful life, that all will wonder
I have seen the fruit your capable of, oh the splendor!
Bless me with your roots, entangled around my heart.Fullfilled
Yeah, yet another rambling of me....
you like it... say so
you disagree... say so
Dont understand it? Read it again LOL
Fullfilled
The thought escapes me of why I am so needy
Greediness for self tainted by a commercial love
Greiving for a life not yet lost
Focus blurred by selfish desires and appeal
There is One who came before me
He was complete in love and his time was brief
Never alone, yet he knew loneliness
Love and unselfishness flowing through his very veins
What an enigma to be so complete ?
By what means does he show such flawless love ?
Why would He greive having the power to resolve ?
He knew love... I appear to be void of it.
Perhaps I should seek him out...
With time to ascertain that which I am seeking
Perhaps I should emulate Him
To be led to that place, saturated in His wisdom
I understand now that I am destine to be needy
Body and soul destitute without it
Do not haste the day, Love the life not yet taken
Obscurity of vision gone, left needy for my Lord.
JHD 11-26-07
you like it... say so
you disagree... say so
Dont understand it? Read it again LOL
Fullfilled
The thought escapes me of why I am so needy
Greediness for self tainted by a commercial love
Greiving for a life not yet lost
Focus blurred by selfish desires and appeal
There is One who came before me
He was complete in love and his time was brief
Never alone, yet he knew loneliness
Love and unselfishness flowing through his very veins
What an enigma to be so complete ?
By what means does he show such flawless love ?
Why would He greive having the power to resolve ?
He knew love... I appear to be void of it.
Perhaps I should seek him out...
With time to ascertain that which I am seeking
Perhaps I should emulate Him
To be led to that place, saturated in His wisdom
I understand now that I am destine to be needy
Body and soul destitute without it
Do not haste the day, Love the life not yet taken
Obscurity of vision gone, left needy for my Lord.
JHD 11-26-07
no idea where this came from in my head
read into what you feel... nothing really other than thoughts that trickled on to a page. Thanks to all who actually read this junk
Why do I walk on eggshells around you
How can I be twisted so much it feels good
Why do you seem so hard to reach and read for me
What in the world am I still here for?
All these unanswered questions, yet my outlook seems promising
This is not where my comfort zone lies
I falter with the unknown...
This is just not the way that I am!
Yet... I'm here. longing for it... wanting it...
I want to run...
I feel the need to hide myself from you
I refuse to set myself up for my own demise
I want to fight off the gravity you have around me
I am torn and so content, confused and so determined.
I have no idea what tomorrow holds
Somehow my future seems remarkably bright yet blurred
Clarity, my most intangible prize
My hope and faith my only rewards
Thank you for the time you gave me
I hope to make the most of all that I am given
Blessed better than imagination could create, you gave to me
And, as we look toward the end, however long you allow
I will be glad I was put there, and proud that you were with me.
Why do I walk on eggshells around you
How can I be twisted so much it feels good
Why do you seem so hard to reach and read for me
What in the world am I still here for?
All these unanswered questions, yet my outlook seems promising
This is not where my comfort zone lies
I falter with the unknown...
This is just not the way that I am!
Yet... I'm here. longing for it... wanting it...
I want to run...
I feel the need to hide myself from you
I refuse to set myself up for my own demise
I want to fight off the gravity you have around me
I am torn and so content, confused and so determined.
I have no idea what tomorrow holds
Somehow my future seems remarkably bright yet blurred
Clarity, my most intangible prize
My hope and faith my only rewards
Thank you for the time you gave me
I hope to make the most of all that I am given
Blessed better than imagination could create, you gave to me
And, as we look toward the end, however long you allow
I will be glad I was put there, and proud that you were with me.
Love vs. Actions
Love vs. Action
Actions by themselves are simply reactions to a discovered need
Love as an emotion develops only after a discovered want
Both justified, both meaningful, both terribly selfish
When kept under control, both can build up and bring joy
When unchecked, they can lead to a spiral of destruction and pain
When combined inappropriately, it often reveals itself in the shape of...
Ears that refuse to hear
Eyes that will not open to see
Hands that do not want to hold, and..
Mouths closed tight with no words
Love does not warrant actions
Love coheres ones wants into needs
Actions do not initiate love
Actions are a reciprocation of what love transforms in you
Growth, love, need, and dependency
All these appear when we realize there are no true actions anymore
Just the effects of actions taken long ago birthed of love
An action that sustains us until it perpetuates itself in us
To love.
jhd. 11-06-07
Actions by themselves are simply reactions to a discovered need
Love as an emotion develops only after a discovered want
Both justified, both meaningful, both terribly selfish
When kept under control, both can build up and bring joy
When unchecked, they can lead to a spiral of destruction and pain
When combined inappropriately, it often reveals itself in the shape of...
Ears that refuse to hear
Eyes that will not open to see
Hands that do not want to hold, and..
Mouths closed tight with no words
Love does not warrant actions
Love coheres ones wants into needs
Actions do not initiate love
Actions are a reciprocation of what love transforms in you
Growth, love, need, and dependency
All these appear when we realize there are no true actions anymore
Just the effects of actions taken long ago birthed of love
An action that sustains us until it perpetuates itself in us
To love.
jhd. 11-06-07
Surpassing Greatness
Written during class on Sunday - sorry Alan
just had to get it out... it did pertain to the lesson though dont you think?
Surpassing Greatness
Happiness is void of stamina
Joy, hard to let sustain
Disbelief and dishonor
These things destroy our resolve
"Great is your name oh Lord"
Yet we remain uprooted and unstable
"Your grace and mercy is enough" Lord
So we abuse it like we do not remember how we attained it
Let us store up your joy Lord, like water before a drought
Let us gather your grace Lord, like grain before the plague
Sustain us and make plentiful your provisions to all oh Lord
Let us once again depend on you daily like manna from long ago
And when the happiness fades…
Let us draw from Your never ending well of Joy
Let us go to Your grace stored up like nourishing grain
Allow us to provide for all and put first sharing and giving
Let us return the favor and provision so frequently given unto us.
As we go, and do…
Let our stores of Joy never be depleted
Let us not forget your ever surpassing greatness!
just had to get it out... it did pertain to the lesson though dont you think?
Surpassing Greatness
Happiness is void of stamina
Joy, hard to let sustain
Disbelief and dishonor
These things destroy our resolve
"Great is your name oh Lord"
Yet we remain uprooted and unstable
"Your grace and mercy is enough" Lord
So we abuse it like we do not remember how we attained it
Let us store up your joy Lord, like water before a drought
Let us gather your grace Lord, like grain before the plague
Sustain us and make plentiful your provisions to all oh Lord
Let us once again depend on you daily like manna from long ago
And when the happiness fades…
Let us draw from Your never ending well of Joy
Let us go to Your grace stored up like nourishing grain
Allow us to provide for all and put first sharing and giving
Let us return the favor and provision so frequently given unto us.
As we go, and do…
Let our stores of Joy never be depleted
Let us not forget your ever surpassing greatness!
Revisited, inspired by my friend L.F.
Revisited...
Once hurt, freedom seems so intangible
Tarnished and worn does my character seem to me
Knowing the gleam from within needs to be seen
Yet, tattered and bruised my outlook found fleeting
Just at the thought, at the sound, at a feeling
Of another one of those little "welcome to life" beatings
Oh to be free, to seek and know mind.
To know that this too shall someday pass with the time
Oh to be free, to feel my worth building
To know that a blink won't reveal that I'm bleeding
Oh to feel something, to know that its there
That emotion deep in me that needs to repair
Oh I know something, I know it for real
That freedom is coming and I am prepared.
Yes I am the hurt, and now liberated
My character revealed through the shape I have taken
My light breaking through for all to partake in
Destroyed and rebuilt, my outlook renovated
Rightness of thought, piece of mind, what a feeling
Just in time, make it through, I have LIFE! Oh how freeing!
Once hurt, freedom seems so intangible
Tarnished and worn does my character seem to me
Knowing the gleam from within needs to be seen
Yet, tattered and bruised my outlook found fleeting
Just at the thought, at the sound, at a feeling
Of another one of those little "welcome to life" beatings
Oh to be free, to seek and know mind.
To know that this too shall someday pass with the time
Oh to be free, to feel my worth building
To know that a blink won't reveal that I'm bleeding
Oh to feel something, to know that its there
That emotion deep in me that needs to repair
Oh I know something, I know it for real
That freedom is coming and I am prepared.
Yes I am the hurt, and now liberated
My character revealed through the shape I have taken
My light breaking through for all to partake in
Destroyed and rebuilt, my outlook renovated
Rightness of thought, piece of mind, what a feeling
Just in time, make it through, I have LIFE! Oh how freeing!
Reality
Ok, so heres another one for those of you who actually read this stuff. Once again, this was from another time another place. I am much happier now! LOL
Reality
I am now alone
I feel as though you've left me here to die
so all day long I think of you
and then begin to break
all my dreams and fears
In you I did confide
All these things you took with you
My love, my hopes...my pride
We had hour time together
now that worlds a faded memory
We laughed, talked, and joked but now
You wont acknowledge me
You were my comfort
A shoulder to lean on over the past few years
Always there when I needed you
To wipe away the tears
AND WHERE ARE YOU NOW ?
I thought we'd be together for eternity
I was blind but now I realize
You were not in love with me
Reality!
Thats the bullet in my wounded heart
Only a word....... but I can see
One little word of difference can seperate us
Like two ships on two totally different seas
Reality
I am now alone
I feel as though you've left me here to die
so all day long I think of you
and then begin to break
all my dreams and fears
In you I did confide
All these things you took with you
My love, my hopes...my pride
We had hour time together
now that worlds a faded memory
We laughed, talked, and joked but now
You wont acknowledge me
You were my comfort
A shoulder to lean on over the past few years
Always there when I needed you
To wipe away the tears
AND WHERE ARE YOU NOW ?
I thought we'd be together for eternity
I was blind but now I realize
You were not in love with me
Reality!
Thats the bullet in my wounded heart
Only a word....... but I can see
One little word of difference can seperate us
Like two ships on two totally different seas
Life of me...
I found some very old writings of mine that I thought were long since lost.
Its pretty amazing to see where my mind has taken me through the years, where Christ has developed me and changed my focuses. This may disturb some, however the bright side is.... this is where I USED to be, not where I am or where I am going.
Hope you enjoy. there is more to come soon
Life of Me
Give up on being happy
Life is a cruel, cruel place
All the tears surround me
And console my sorrowed face
Gravity has got hold my head
and on the way down I now see
All the people that I've stepped on
Not one, not two, not three...
The more I sit and think about
the way I dream of life
The more I sit and ponder of
Why not to take my life
In torment I try to shout
Nothing develops, not a bloody cry
In anguish I dream of heaven
Dreaming, "Please! Just let me die"!
As slowly I begin to realize
About all these selfish things
I am once again reminded
Of what my Promise brings
You see I was put here for a purpose
Maybe not exciting, but definatley nothing plain
But a purpose none the less
Because Jesus knows my name.
Its pretty amazing to see where my mind has taken me through the years, where Christ has developed me and changed my focuses. This may disturb some, however the bright side is.... this is where I USED to be, not where I am or where I am going.
Hope you enjoy. there is more to come soon
Life of Me
Give up on being happy
Life is a cruel, cruel place
All the tears surround me
And console my sorrowed face
Gravity has got hold my head
and on the way down I now see
All the people that I've stepped on
Not one, not two, not three...
The more I sit and think about
the way I dream of life
The more I sit and ponder of
Why not to take my life
In torment I try to shout
Nothing develops, not a bloody cry
In anguish I dream of heaven
Dreaming, "Please! Just let me die"!
As slowly I begin to realize
About all these selfish things
I am once again reminded
Of what my Promise brings
You see I was put here for a purpose
Maybe not exciting, but definatley nothing plain
But a purpose none the less
Because Jesus knows my name.
written by J.H.D
dedicated to my 2 favorite people
who are living this....
Parallel
Even though our eyes have never met
How beautiful your sight
The kind of care you've given me
Makes my future seem so bright
How mysterious and how sudden
you really did appear
Despite the many, many miles
You really feel so near
Fate, destiny, and good fortune
call it what you may
My heart says "Here's a lasting place
will you please, please stay" ?
Our lives were only parallel
until the evening that we meet
without formality you're giving me
A love that seems so complete
Whatever the future shall bring
we hope that we will see...
that our fate, destiny, and good fortune
will end with wedding rings.
dedicated to my 2 favorite people
who are living this....
Parallel
Even though our eyes have never met
How beautiful your sight
The kind of care you've given me
Makes my future seem so bright
How mysterious and how sudden
you really did appear
Despite the many, many miles
You really feel so near
Fate, destiny, and good fortune
call it what you may
My heart says "Here's a lasting place
will you please, please stay" ?
Our lives were only parallel
until the evening that we meet
without formality you're giving me
A love that seems so complete
Whatever the future shall bring
we hope that we will see...
that our fate, destiny, and good fortune
will end with wedding rings.
Definition of Synthesis
Definition of....
Synthesis [sin-thuh-sis]
* The combining of the constituent elements of separate material or abstract entities into a single or unified entity (opposed to analysis).
* Chemistry. the forming or building of a more complex substance or compound from elements or simpler compounds.
* Psychology, Psychiatry. the integration of traits, attitudes, and impulses to create a total personality.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Synthesis by Heath D.
It's crazy the pain thats brought on by rain
The longing to grow roots and be nurtured
The sound of it all so violent yet calming
The feeling of unopened seeds breaking through thier shell
How I long to break free from what binds me
Growing pains realized when the rain pelts me again and again
Roots each time getting more callused yet stronger
Im drowning in the very soil that I came from
How crazy the light is as it burns away at me
It beams down endlessly scorching and searing its life into me
The pain is hated and welcome all in the same
The elements of growth changing my chemistry
I mourn for the dead that fell away from the elements
I praise the parts that survive rooted and strong
I expose the ones that hid from the rain, too weak to take root
I nurture my burns, I tend to the breaks, I make ready my heart
The rain is coming
Its had its fun
It longs to be part of something elemental
Always coming back to the Son even though it burns
Synthesis [sin-thuh-sis]
* The combining of the constituent elements of separate material or abstract entities into a single or unified entity (opposed to analysis).
* Chemistry. the forming or building of a more complex substance or compound from elements or simpler compounds.
* Psychology, Psychiatry. the integration of traits, attitudes, and impulses to create a total personality.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Synthesis by Heath D.
It's crazy the pain thats brought on by rain
The longing to grow roots and be nurtured
The sound of it all so violent yet calming
The feeling of unopened seeds breaking through thier shell
How I long to break free from what binds me
Growing pains realized when the rain pelts me again and again
Roots each time getting more callused yet stronger
Im drowning in the very soil that I came from
How crazy the light is as it burns away at me
It beams down endlessly scorching and searing its life into me
The pain is hated and welcome all in the same
The elements of growth changing my chemistry
I mourn for the dead that fell away from the elements
I praise the parts that survive rooted and strong
I expose the ones that hid from the rain, too weak to take root
I nurture my burns, I tend to the breaks, I make ready my heart
The rain is coming
Its had its fun
It longs to be part of something elemental
Always coming back to the Son even though it burns
The Persuit of....
Yeah, so I saw the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness" good flick, wasnt my favorite movie... however. The message was well.... lets just say the message was way better than the movie. You know my dad always used to quote one of Zig Zigglar's sayings. He used to tell me to "be somebody". He also used to tell me that "I could do anything I wanted if I put my mind to it" I am sure that every dad has said somethhing along those lines to thier kid. However, through lifes little hiccups I think I have lost sight of those little principles. I dont have to be rich, I dont have to be sexxy, (cause I already am) LOL. I dont have to say what I think people want to hear, or beleive what others seem to want to make me beleive. I just need to be me. Be somebody! I used to tell people that I was still trying really figure myself out, like I thought I was complex. Im not. I am very simple, strait forward, honest/blunt to a fault sometimes. I have needs like anyone else. I want to be loved, I want to show love. I want to succeed, I want to be succesful, I want to be able to provide for my family if I ever get one in a way that my Dad was never able to do for me and my sister. i want to be able to give them everything.. the very best. I want to have my own needs met... I said needs. Wants are nice, but for me... I just want to have enough to get bye and be comfortable. In a conversation with someone recently I said that. I just want the bare minimum to survive and have a roof over my head and be able to pay my bills, have a nice life, nothing too extravagant.. Thier responce was... "thats your problem....no wonder you dont have more". They horribly misunderstood me. Needs are something that are supposed to be supplied by God if your seeking him 1st they said. I agree with that... however a line in the movie tonight really just hit home the way I feel about that issue. Will Smith's son was telling a joke.
he said something to the effect of... " A man was in the ocean trying to stay afloat to keep from drowning... soon there after came a very big boat and called out to the man saying "let us help you"... the guy in the water said "No, if I just have faith in God, He will save me!!".... A second huge boat comes by after awhile and yells out to the drowning man.."Let us help you, let me save you" The man still replies " NO, if I just have faith in God, He will save me!!" The man very shortly after that cant swim any longer and drowns to death. When the man gets to heaven, he looks at God and says..."God, when I was out there in the ocean treading water... I had faith, I beleived, why did you let me drown, why did I die?" God looks at him and says... " What do you mean I let you drown??? I sent 2 HUGE boats to save you!
Man, that crashed down on my head like a load of bricks. It didnt sink in until the ride home for me. How much have I missed... How many times have I been crying out to God for him to give me what I "need/want" and missed the very thing that could have made it all a reality because I was scared, not ambicious, or unbelieving. You have to take it! "It" being whatever it is in your life that is being put in front of you. Whatever decisions, situations, opportunities. Dont hesitate, If you do, and you just wait for God to heap blessings your way, even if your seeking His kingdom 1st... What other stuff have you missed out on that you could have had, had you not gone for it, "taken it". In my opinion, you have to do something! There has to be some action on your part to show God your for real and that you want it. That your not what I call a "moocher". Yes, absolultely trust in God for the things you NEED, yes continue to pray and dedicate yourself to His teachings. It says .. "All these things will be added unto you" In Luke... its talking about necessities, not all the extra stuff God could possibly have for you if you would just reach out and grab it. Yes be patient in the Lord and his timing, however who of you knows his timing ? What if its now and we cant see it? What about trying to be pro-active. Never giving up, striving to be the best at whatever it is that you do. Taking chances. I need to take chances on alot of things, in alot of areas of my life. I need to be me. The me that doesnt flinch when I am determined or have my mind set on a goal. The me that had been lost for awhile and now must come out and let the "boat" save me even though my trust was always in God, and always looking upward.
he said something to the effect of... " A man was in the ocean trying to stay afloat to keep from drowning... soon there after came a very big boat and called out to the man saying "let us help you"... the guy in the water said "No, if I just have faith in God, He will save me!!".... A second huge boat comes by after awhile and yells out to the drowning man.."Let us help you, let me save you" The man still replies " NO, if I just have faith in God, He will save me!!" The man very shortly after that cant swim any longer and drowns to death. When the man gets to heaven, he looks at God and says..."God, when I was out there in the ocean treading water... I had faith, I beleived, why did you let me drown, why did I die?" God looks at him and says... " What do you mean I let you drown??? I sent 2 HUGE boats to save you!
Man, that crashed down on my head like a load of bricks. It didnt sink in until the ride home for me. How much have I missed... How many times have I been crying out to God for him to give me what I "need/want" and missed the very thing that could have made it all a reality because I was scared, not ambicious, or unbelieving. You have to take it! "It" being whatever it is in your life that is being put in front of you. Whatever decisions, situations, opportunities. Dont hesitate, If you do, and you just wait for God to heap blessings your way, even if your seeking His kingdom 1st... What other stuff have you missed out on that you could have had, had you not gone for it, "taken it". In my opinion, you have to do something! There has to be some action on your part to show God your for real and that you want it. That your not what I call a "moocher". Yes, absolultely trust in God for the things you NEED, yes continue to pray and dedicate yourself to His teachings. It says .. "All these things will be added unto you" In Luke... its talking about necessities, not all the extra stuff God could possibly have for you if you would just reach out and grab it. Yes be patient in the Lord and his timing, however who of you knows his timing ? What if its now and we cant see it? What about trying to be pro-active. Never giving up, striving to be the best at whatever it is that you do. Taking chances. I need to take chances on alot of things, in alot of areas of my life. I need to be me. The me that doesnt flinch when I am determined or have my mind set on a goal. The me that had been lost for awhile and now must come out and let the "boat" save me even though my trust was always in God, and always looking upward.
supporting a cause
**disclaimer** this video contains 1 or 2 cuss words, sorry for those who might be offended... Its really not bad at all, however you dont have to listen, but its eye opening
Okay guys...
The title says it all... "Has passion replaced common sence?"
For all of you guys out there eager to join up and "fight a cause"!!
For all of you that have signed a petition because someone you know signed it.
For me, this video was exactly the way I view most of the "activist" out there!
Now, I am not saying that we shouldnt put our resources we have to good use.
There are just far too many people out there that blindly jump into...
"SUPPORTING A CAUSE"
Supporting it just to be able to say that in thier life they stood for something!
I am sorry if I sound synical, but this video proves my point far better than I can articulate it. Why? Why do people get so passionate about things they know so little about? Why dont more people do a little research on what the crud they are doing and saying. No wonder there are so many things wrong with the world. If WE as a people would spend 10 minutes doing a little brain work and soul searching before we jumped into "whatever it is" that were supporting just think what we could accomplish. Literally there are hundreds of places you can get plugged into that support something that is TRULY worth it and positive. Life changing stuff. If you want to be a part of "something" take 5 minutes... look and see whats out there... I am NOT even talking about other countries or big charities... Look around your own city. There are places that you can do something, or at least support it. Not all of us are wealthy, not all of us can grab a shovel, not all of us can counsel, not all of us can organize. Do what you can, just make it count for something that will change someones life. Even if you will NEVER see it changed yourself.
Dont be blindly passionate about causes... support the causes that make you blindly passionate!
ok ..climbing off the soap box....
Okay guys...
The title says it all... "Has passion replaced common sence?"
For all of you guys out there eager to join up and "fight a cause"!!
For all of you that have signed a petition because someone you know signed it.
For me, this video was exactly the way I view most of the "activist" out there!
Now, I am not saying that we shouldnt put our resources we have to good use.
There are just far too many people out there that blindly jump into...
"SUPPORTING A CAUSE"
Supporting it just to be able to say that in thier life they stood for something!
I am sorry if I sound synical, but this video proves my point far better than I can articulate it. Why? Why do people get so passionate about things they know so little about? Why dont more people do a little research on what the crud they are doing and saying. No wonder there are so many things wrong with the world. If WE as a people would spend 10 minutes doing a little brain work and soul searching before we jumped into "whatever it is" that were supporting just think what we could accomplish. Literally there are hundreds of places you can get plugged into that support something that is TRULY worth it and positive. Life changing stuff. If you want to be a part of "something" take 5 minutes... look and see whats out there... I am NOT even talking about other countries or big charities... Look around your own city. There are places that you can do something, or at least support it. Not all of us are wealthy, not all of us can grab a shovel, not all of us can counsel, not all of us can organize. Do what you can, just make it count for something that will change someones life. Even if you will NEVER see it changed yourself.
Dont be blindly passionate about causes... support the causes that make you blindly passionate!
ok ..climbing off the soap box....
Definition of "real"
In the middle of writing a letter to a new friend I asked that person to just be real...and put yourself out there. I then wondered if people have different definitions of what "REAL" is ... so that letter provoked me to this....
Definition of Real
I am raw
Honest to a flaw
Transparent for viewing
Frail and exposed
Let not your callus break it
Soul awaken it
Partake in my musing. Share...
Be real
thanks Jackie
Definition of Real
I am raw
Honest to a flaw
Transparent for viewing
Frail and exposed
Let not your callus break it
Soul awaken it
Partake in my musing. Share...
Be real
thanks Jackie
Towards the flame
Troublesome yes, the thought of normalcy of pain
Candid regret of life creeps in
Preconceived notions of greatness snuffed out like moths to a flame
Desire running rampant with the winds of change
Fear of the undesirable, inevitable finding out of who I am, or was
Crossover to the light, no shadows betryaing me this time.
Do not be deceived by the contrite
Settle not for the inadequate
Life stern and unforgiving though grace has it covered.
Troublesome no! normalcy of pain growing understanding
No regrets enlightened and proven by His plans
Fly towards the light! I will not be snuffed out!
Bring on the unknown, show me the character inside me... who am I
Crossover to the light, no shadows betraying me for all times.
Candid regret of life creeps in
Preconceived notions of greatness snuffed out like moths to a flame
Desire running rampant with the winds of change
Fear of the undesirable, inevitable finding out of who I am, or was
Crossover to the light, no shadows betryaing me this time.
Do not be deceived by the contrite
Settle not for the inadequate
Life stern and unforgiving though grace has it covered.
Troublesome no! normalcy of pain growing understanding
No regrets enlightened and proven by His plans
Fly towards the light! I will not be snuffed out!
Bring on the unknown, show me the character inside me... who am I
Crossover to the light, no shadows betraying me for all times.
People in Plays Choosing to play a role in someone else's life
Trying so hard to make others believe
To fall victim to the lie that consumes him
Unsure of what he's become
Confused about where he is
Having lost all identity
Asking who he is, and where he's gone
He's hiding from the truth
Acting like another man
Losing track of himself
Realism wadded in his hand
All his personalities twisting
Rolling up into just one
Not a trace of what he began with
Not even a way to be his own
Like people in plays
All acting for a cause
Never seeking to become a hypocrite
By way of confused judgmental flaws
When you step away
From who you are
And what you have come to portray
Just a piece of reality remains
Reminding you of your sold out self
And who you used to be
Rubik's Cube life
Rubik's Cube life by Heath Dimsdle ©
The Christian life is alot like a Rubik's Cube
The colors finally all aligned symbolizing when we "get it"
Most people spend a majority of their time working on one side
All the while neglecting the other pieces of the puzzle
When we get one side done right we want to start bragging until...
Until we see just how messed up the others are, and how we just missed it
I think of it another way...
I view it as me giving a Rubik's Cube to someone who is completely color blind.
Color blind meaning they can only see in shades of black, grey, and white.
Mean, you might think so...
But, it is a better depiction of what it's really like in our life.
It's all about perception!
They can spend So much time trying to get all the "shades" of one color right.
They can even detect what is light and dark, Yes
But, they do not know which one is the right one to go with to complete the task.
They can try their best to align themselves with the right "shades"
To them this seems logical because of their perspective.
How limited the perspective!
Once they have light and dark separated the best they can...
All they notice is that in the "back" there are always one or two things
Always those little dark squares that are in the light,
But, life is complex, God gives us ways out that we sometimes dont see
Perspective...
With a Rubik's Cube if you have one DARK off in the LIGHT that's messing it up...
That means there is also one LIGHT amongst the DARK.
Always a way out!
Perspective...
Personally, I like the way God handed me MY Rubik's cube.
He let me struggle with it, fight with it, get it horribly wrong
He let me "almost get there" and then there was that freaking DARK spot
Right in the middle of all my lights!!
That's all I could focus on.
That's all WE as Christians focus on.
Fixing the DARK Spot!
Oh how limited our Perspective...
As we give up, and mix it all back up again, trying to start over
Trying the best we can to "give it a go" and see what we can do different.
Love Interrupts
God's Love Interrupts
God takes our Rubik's cube life in his hands...
We think. YES!!! He's going to figure it out for me!
As we anxiously await the answer to the puzzle, all the confusion
God takes the Rubik's cube of our life... Ask us, "Do you really want this?"
As we eagerly say "YES!! PLEASE MAKE SENCE OF THE SENCELESS!!"
HE... simply starts "removing the squares"... Peeling them off, one by one
Every little sticky square that doesnt want to be removed
We think... why didn't we just do that?
Perspective!
He keeps taking them off... more and more
Till all we have left is a Blank cube... complete, unified, and most of all
Whole.
Without spot or blemish.
God then hands us back the "Cube" and ask.
What will you do with it now?
Knowing good an well that we will put a few squares of our own on there
But... now we know that to become whole again, to be right, to "get it"
All we need to do is be stripped of what confines us, what keeps us bound
Go back to the blank cube, the building block of the "ONE"
Find your perspective!
The Christian life is alot like a Rubik's Cube
The colors finally all aligned symbolizing when we "get it"
Most people spend a majority of their time working on one side
All the while neglecting the other pieces of the puzzle
When we get one side done right we want to start bragging until...
Until we see just how messed up the others are, and how we just missed it
I think of it another way...
I view it as me giving a Rubik's Cube to someone who is completely color blind.
Color blind meaning they can only see in shades of black, grey, and white.
Mean, you might think so...
But, it is a better depiction of what it's really like in our life.
It's all about perception!
They can spend So much time trying to get all the "shades" of one color right.
They can even detect what is light and dark, Yes
But, they do not know which one is the right one to go with to complete the task.
They can try their best to align themselves with the right "shades"
To them this seems logical because of their perspective.
How limited the perspective!
Once they have light and dark separated the best they can...
All they notice is that in the "back" there are always one or two things
Always those little dark squares that are in the light,
But, life is complex, God gives us ways out that we sometimes dont see
Perspective...
With a Rubik's Cube if you have one DARK off in the LIGHT that's messing it up...
That means there is also one LIGHT amongst the DARK.
Always a way out!
Perspective...
Personally, I like the way God handed me MY Rubik's cube.
He let me struggle with it, fight with it, get it horribly wrong
He let me "almost get there" and then there was that freaking DARK spot
Right in the middle of all my lights!!
That's all I could focus on.
That's all WE as Christians focus on.
Fixing the DARK Spot!
Oh how limited our Perspective...
As we give up, and mix it all back up again, trying to start over
Trying the best we can to "give it a go" and see what we can do different.
Love Interrupts
God's Love Interrupts
God takes our Rubik's cube life in his hands...
We think. YES!!! He's going to figure it out for me!
As we anxiously await the answer to the puzzle, all the confusion
God takes the Rubik's cube of our life... Ask us, "Do you really want this?"
As we eagerly say "YES!! PLEASE MAKE SENCE OF THE SENCELESS!!"
HE... simply starts "removing the squares"... Peeling them off, one by one
Every little sticky square that doesnt want to be removed
We think... why didn't we just do that?
Perspective!
He keeps taking them off... more and more
Till all we have left is a Blank cube... complete, unified, and most of all
Whole.
Without spot or blemish.
God then hands us back the "Cube" and ask.
What will you do with it now?
Knowing good an well that we will put a few squares of our own on there
But... now we know that to become whole again, to be right, to "get it"
All we need to do is be stripped of what confines us, what keeps us bound
Go back to the blank cube, the building block of the "ONE"
Find your perspective!
Me and a friend took a road trip today, I got on the phone last night and said to my friend..."call in to work we are going somewhere... anywhere. Just away from this place". The offer was liked, but bad timing. The next morning at 8:00am I get a call, they had overslept by an hour and said.. "I am already late... "lets do this" Obviously excited and being of spontaneous nature as I am. I jumped up, got in the shower and headed over. We got in the car and I said.."left or right"? We went left. We ended up going backroads accross 6 counties, 10 different streams, and 3 lakes. We stopped to eat in Glenn Rose. There was a little hole in the wall place that said they served "Down Home Cookin" it sure was. I have to admit, even though I have been eating good and working out. I felt I had come back to my East TX roots indulging myself with half a chicken fried steak, and some fried catfish. MMMM good. very NOT good for me, but delicious none the less. Long story short... we ended up in Waco. Coming home down 35 came the best part of the trip. A conversation that probed deep into spirituality and the darkest parts of our being. Uncaging those pent up secrets, and questions and emotions. It was a release for both parties envolved. Good sound advice coming from both passenger and driver. I truly have a friend. Honorable, wise, and selfless. I needed this day. I thank GOD for this day. He suprises me so much here lately that I can almost not control myself with the simple pleasures of his presence. Below.... it started out to be something much different than it ended up. Alot like God and I. I dont even know what to call it
( give it your own name ) by Heath D
Oh, to bask in the light, white like the inner flame
Soaking in the warmth emanating from your very being
Like a breeze, words tusseling off the tounge, engaging me
Oh to touch, like the feeling of morning earth on bare feet
Sweet smells wafting across as to excite and revive souls
What orchestrated delights have I come across?
On what merit comes this chance?
How blessed can one soul be?
Grant me this honor, this awakening of senses
Oh, just to bask in your presence... if only for a moment
A blink, a flutter... so fleeting was our time
Breeze gone, ground cold, flame dwindling
Warmth... alas you say is gone?
No, I tell you with a fervent No... warmth survives
In the depths of ones soul, a coal, a tinder, a spark
ignite! Ignite! IGNITE!
The fire from within never dying, lying dormant and locked
Grounded... protected and secure
Awaiting... never to be snuffed out
Surviving... patient to seize the day
Alive... only in the existance of itself.
( give it your own name ) by Heath D
Oh, to bask in the light, white like the inner flame
Soaking in the warmth emanating from your very being
Like a breeze, words tusseling off the tounge, engaging me
Oh to touch, like the feeling of morning earth on bare feet
Sweet smells wafting across as to excite and revive souls
What orchestrated delights have I come across?
On what merit comes this chance?
How blessed can one soul be?
Grant me this honor, this awakening of senses
Oh, just to bask in your presence... if only for a moment
A blink, a flutter... so fleeting was our time
Breeze gone, ground cold, flame dwindling
Warmth... alas you say is gone?
No, I tell you with a fervent No... warmth survives
In the depths of ones soul, a coal, a tinder, a spark
ignite! Ignite! IGNITE!
The fire from within never dying, lying dormant and locked
Grounded... protected and secure
Awaiting... never to be snuffed out
Surviving... patient to seize the day
Alive... only in the existance of itself.
"Light up in the spaces between, as if you have a choice...
In the spaces between the epic tale of naked truths and a heard voice of light, I find myself here...stripped and bare. A long good-bye behind me...years of letdowns painted with the hope tearing at my insides wanting to be free.
Where is the dream? Where is the answer to my question of where and when and why? A thousand pieces to this puzzle...a thousand colors and corners and pictures of this noise made silent. Desperate to run the race...reaching for the finish line...only to find a longing to stand still. Stand still. Still. In the Light and the Love and the salt from these tears...the breath from these lungs...the beat of this heart for the hope, the fight, the constant, and the blood that flows through these veins, the callused images kept secret with dust of choices of others and mine.
Light up, dearest. Even if you cannot hear my cry...even if you cannot feel my calling. Take the grace alive in me and make it your own. Take this story and bury it to the bone...I am right beside you, dear. Light up and unfold...find what you must say, and say what you must. We don't have time enough to play....time enough this day. Choices...choices. This choice is yours. This day is yours. This day...light up. Light up."
mercy or wrath ?
Sometimes its a little heavy to think about all this...Why tonight? I dont know
Question: Show people who hurt you mercy or wrath ?
Not just physically but mentally, socially, spiritually, emotionally. How do you cope with that decision? I am not handling it very well. Trust? What is trust anymore? Why do we bother letting people in.. that will most certainly take advantage of what we hold the dearest. How can people sleep at night and know they have taken advantage of liberties that were never thiers in the 1st place.
I know what I have been taught...
I know what I have been shown by God...
I know that at times I think I am getting one when im actually getting the other..
I know that God is alot more merciful than me...
I am not sure that I can do what I "know" to do...
Bite me once... a bandage of mercy can be applied to the wound
Bite me twice... even if not by the same... must not go without action.
- that is what I have always lived by and thought... I grew up to know that there is sometimes a better way, but when is enough, .. ENOUGH
How do you find people/friends/loves that would die for you. People who would rather be inflicted by all the pain in the world to keep you from an ounce of it. I want to be the person who would gladly grab a bee off your shoulder and hold it in my hand till it stings me.. just so you wouldnt have to go through it. Where do you find that dedication. If there is someone out there who wants that that kind of devotion... I am waiting. I am here and willing to reciprocate that type of life for a person. Friends or possible Love, It doesnt matter. I hope to God I am not the only one who feels this in my soul.
I hate blogging - If you know me, you know I dont express my feelings well, or very often. so...if you got this far down my message, you must know me or are really bored. If this in some way gets at you... leave me your thoughts. And, if your serious then do something about it.
Heath
Question: Show people who hurt you mercy or wrath ?
Not just physically but mentally, socially, spiritually, emotionally. How do you cope with that decision? I am not handling it very well. Trust? What is trust anymore? Why do we bother letting people in.. that will most certainly take advantage of what we hold the dearest. How can people sleep at night and know they have taken advantage of liberties that were never thiers in the 1st place.
I know what I have been taught...
I know what I have been shown by God...
I know that at times I think I am getting one when im actually getting the other..
I know that God is alot more merciful than me...
I am not sure that I can do what I "know" to do...
Bite me once... a bandage of mercy can be applied to the wound
Bite me twice... even if not by the same... must not go without action.
- that is what I have always lived by and thought... I grew up to know that there is sometimes a better way, but when is enough, .. ENOUGH
How do you find people/friends/loves that would die for you. People who would rather be inflicted by all the pain in the world to keep you from an ounce of it. I want to be the person who would gladly grab a bee off your shoulder and hold it in my hand till it stings me.. just so you wouldnt have to go through it. Where do you find that dedication. If there is someone out there who wants that that kind of devotion... I am waiting. I am here and willing to reciprocate that type of life for a person. Friends or possible Love, It doesnt matter. I hope to God I am not the only one who feels this in my soul.
I hate blogging - If you know me, you know I dont express my feelings well, or very often. so...if you got this far down my message, you must know me or are really bored. If this in some way gets at you... leave me your thoughts. And, if your serious then do something about it.
Heath
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